Saturday, January 5, 2013
Purpose Driven
It has been many years since I've posted here regularly. I am truly thankful to each and every one of you who've laughed and encouraged me along the way. I'm also humbled and grateful to those of you who've recently stumble upon it - knowing that it is now dormant, you still take the time to express your enjoyment. Every time I get an email about a new comment on this blog, I am nostalgic. This is the place where I honed my voice as a writer. It is my first blog. This is where I shared my whole self for the first time, outside of journaling.
Last year around this time, I asked you guys to follow me over to my new place of residence - www.purposedrivenresignation.com...today I remind you that the offer still stands. Accompany me on the journey that this blog blazed the trail for. Me. As a writer.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
....And Everything In It's Place
Generally speaking, I tend to compartmentalize, hurt, pain, anger, and the like are reserved elsewhere. It's that's simple. Well it used to be when I was younger
This getting older thing has a funny way of making you seek order and focus. Chaos has seriously become my crutch. I cannot function without reason or logic these days, I get flustered. I guess that's why residual feelings seem to get the better of me. Some may think the new Emo me is a better me- an evolved DD. I disagree
I miss the ability to brush things off. To not give the sense of disappointment a second thought is a precious gift. To put pain on the back day there are some skeletons in my closet that I'd rather keep in a safety deposit box in an off shore bank.
This getting older thing has a funny way of making you seek order and focus. Chaos has seriously become my crutch. I cannot function without reason or logic these days, I get flustered. I guess that's why residual feelings seem to get the better of me. Some may think the new Emo me is a better me- an evolved DD. I disagree
I miss the ability to brush things off. To not give the sense of disappointment a second thought is a precious gift. To put pain on the back day there are some skeletons in my closet that I'd rather keep in a safety deposit box in an off shore bank.
The Psuedo Return
Hi Friends,
I think it is absolutely AMAZING that I have had 125 views to my blog when I haven't even posted in years. I love that people still check back in, or happen to come across The Daily Dose (formerly the late not so great 20s) in other ways.
I just wanted to take some time to thank you all.... Thanks! And also invite you to follow me on my new blog, Effective Immediately, where I will chronicle my current life. Having quit my full time job in December, I am literally living on a prayer.While a few cut backs were in order I have not had to sacrifice peace of mind.
I am inspired to find my passion and I will not work full time again until I do. Hopefully the journey inspires others to pursue their own dreams and passions.
Please feel free to join me at http://purposedrivenresignation.com/
Comment! Share! And motivate others! Let's go :)
Comment! Share! And motivate others! Let's go :)
Friday, July 24, 2009
Shameless Plug
Hey folks,
If there's anyone left out there, lol. I know, I know...gone in 60 seconds right? I've perfected the disappearing act. But now that I'm back I am sure you all wanna know where I vanished to. I've been prepping the book. It does exist! It is now available on paperback for reviewers, book clubs, etc. And ebook for my lovely fans and blog readers!
You can visit www.dorchestersdaughter.com for more info. Interested in your own copy? If you wanna support your favorite blogger download yours today!
If there's anyone left out there, lol. I know, I know...gone in 60 seconds right? I've perfected the disappearing act. But now that I'm back I am sure you all wanna know where I vanished to. I've been prepping the book. It does exist! It is now available on paperback for reviewers, book clubs, etc. And ebook for my lovely fans and blog readers!
You can visit www.dorchestersdaughter.com for more info. Interested in your own copy? If you wanna support your favorite blogger download yours today!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Seven Deadly Sins
.... I got this from Nia and thought it would be very telling. Yall already know I'm an open book, think of this as another chapter of DD.
-Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? Yes.
-What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? toss up! arms and butt
-Have you ever been made a proposition by a prostitute? No.
-Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? Yes, I think everyone "has to" if they are active.
-Is love at first sight really lust? No, I wouldn't say lust. Infatuation possibly
-What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Moet
-Meat eaters are…: people who eat meat???
-What is the greatest amount of alcohol you’ve had in one sitting/outing/event? I can't remember...LOL!! I remember the end result though, clear as day
-Have you ever used a professional diet company? Nope
-Do you prefer sweets, salty foods or spicy foods? definitely sweet
-What’s your guilty pleasure store? Godiva-the chocolate covered strawberries are overpriced but heaven sent
-If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Pay off student loans, build/grow my publishing company, buy a few nice things, and invest.
-Would you rather be rich or famous? rich
-Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? Yes.
-What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? toss up! arms and butt
-Have you ever been made a proposition by a prostitute? No.
-Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? Yes, I think everyone "has to" if they are active.
-Is love at first sight really lust? No, I wouldn't say lust. Infatuation possibly
-What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Moet
-Meat eaters are…: people who eat meat???
-What is the greatest amount of alcohol you’ve had in one sitting/outing/event? I can't remember...LOL!! I remember the end result though, clear as day
-Have you ever used a professional diet company? Nope
-Do you prefer sweets, salty foods or spicy foods? definitely sweet
-What’s your guilty pleasure store? Godiva-the chocolate covered strawberries are overpriced but heaven sent
-If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Pay off student loans, build/grow my publishing company, buy a few nice things, and invest.
-Would you rather be rich or famous? rich
-Have you ever stolen anything? yes
-How many mp3s are on your hard drive? I've never counted
-What is one thing you’re supposed to do daily that you haven’t done in a long time? exercise
-What is the latest you’ve ever woken up? 11 a.m. i'm an early riser
-Who have you been meaning to contact, but haven’t? various family members
-What is the last lame excuse you made? I'm broke. It's true but sometimes I feel like I haven't done enough to change that status
-How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? I haven't yet but I would love to, my snooze button is KB nagging me
-Who did you last get angry with? my coworkers
-What is your weapon of choice? My words
-Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? yep
-How about of the same sex? yep
-Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? I am working on it, but it's damn near impossible for me to let things go. I never forget
-What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for yourself? a house
-Who would you want to go on Trading Spaces with? JayZ. Does anyone know where the hell he lives, lol
-If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? Me ten years ago, so I could tell myself somethings
-Have you ever been cheated on? yep
-Have you ever cheated? yep
-What is one thing you have done that you’re most proud of? finished college, it was a lot harder than I made it look :)
-What’s one thing you’ve done that your parents are most proud of? idk, I am not too sure they are "proud" of me...never mentioned it
-What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? financial secuirty
-Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? probably
-What did you do today that you’re proud of? let myself mourn
The Friday Fuck You-revisted
I had to pull this segment off the shelf. Yesterday I lost, we lost, one of the most influential musicians of all time. Period. A global phenom, people all over the world are in mourning. THE WORLD is missing a man, crying for a man. Do you realize the magnitude of that statement?
Yet and still we have a handful of haters, who want to cut short our time to grieve by highlighting his faults. I do not care what you thought about his personal demons. I don't. I miss Michael, my heart hurts. And so does the hearts of millions of others. These people have no cause to throw salt in our open wounds.
They are the specific target audience to which I am screaming FUCK. YOU.
If you do not respect the man, respect the man's talent. Respect his influence on pop culture. What is Rihanna's wardrobe without the Michael Jackson influence, who do Usher, Justin Timberlake, NeYo, Omarion, Chris Brown and all your other pop favs model themselves after? Look how much it costs to sample his songs (IF you get clearance)!
I am infuriated all over again!
I can only remind myself that it is not about the haters, it's about Mike. Last night I dug through some old pics looking for one particular Headstart photo. The three year old me wearing overalls with a Michael Jackson button on each side. Yeah, he was even with me on picture day. I was a serious, SERIOUS, Michael Jackson head as a kid. Most people have pics of stars in their bedroom, my Michael Jackson poster hung in the kitchen! If I was in the kitchen, so was Mike.
His music is the soundtrack to my childhood. I cannot separate the words "Michael Jackson" from "childhood", to lose Michael is to lose that symbol of my first few years. I cried for my loss today, I cried for his family, and I cried for those who can't see past his pain to honor his legacy.
And even though I cried for the haters, once the tears fell, I was back to those two words. FUCK YOU.
Monday, May 18, 2009
The Scams Continue
Someone on the other side of the world has not heard that we are in a recession. I logged into my Dorchester's Daughter account to do some work on the website (www.dorchestersdaughter.com if you haven't had the opportunity to visit yet) and found an email. This doesn't happen too often so I was eager to find out what the readers had to say.
Lo and Behold-
DEAR FRIEND,
GREETING IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST. I AM MRS.SOLANGE WAAIDI,A WIDOW TO LATE MIKA WAAIDI. I AM 50 YEARS OLD,I AM A NEW CHRISTIAN CONVERT, SUFFERING FROM LONG TIME CANCER OF THE BREAST,FROM ALL INDICATION MY CONDITIONS IS REALLY DETERIORATING AND IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS THAT I WON'T LIVE MORE THAN SIX MONTHS,ACCORDING TO MY DOCTORS,THIS IS BECAUSE THE CANCER STAGE HAS GOTTEN TO A VERY BAD STAGE. MY LATE HUSBAND WAS KILLED DURING THE COTE'D IVORE CIVIL WAR, AND DURING THE PERIOD OF OUR MARRIAGE WE COULD'NT PRODUCE ANY CHILD. MY LATE HUSBAND WAS VERY WEALTHY AND AFTER HIS DEATH, I INHERITED ALL HIS BUSINESS AND WEALTH.THE DOCTORS HAS ADVISED ME THAT I MAY NOT LIVE FOR MORE THAN SIX MONTHS;SO I NOW DECIDED TO DIVIDE THE PART OF THIS WEALTH, TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE CHRIST CHURCHS AROUND THE GLOBE. I SELECTED YOU AFTER VISITING THE INTERNET AND I PRAYED OVER IT.I AM WILLING TO DONATE THE SUM OF $5,000.000.00 U.S DOLLARS,TO THE LESS PRIVILEGED.PLEASE I WANT YOU TO NOTE THAT THIS FUND IS LYING IN AN INTERNATIONAL BANK.I HONESTLY PRAY THAT THIS MONEY,WHEN TRANSFERRED WILL BE USED FOR THE SAID PURPOSE;BECAUSE I HAVE COME TO FIND OUT THAT WEALTH ACQUISITION WITHOUT CHRIST IS VANITY. MAY THE GRACE OF OUR LORD JESUS THE LOVE OF GOD AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE HOLY SPRITE BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY,I AWAIT YOUR URGENT REPLY.
YOURS IN CHRIST,
MRS.SOLANGE WAAIDI.
Have they resorted to using the Lord's name in vein now? I cannot even begin to understand what kind of person sits at a computer and writes this stuff. And you have to be some kind of heathen to use the Lord so shamelessly.
But you know what? On the flip side, I cannot fathom the kind of poor sap that falls for it. If we are still falling for scam mails in this day and age, in THIS here recession, I am sorry but we deserve to get got. Dismissed!
Lo and Behold-
DEAR FRIEND,
GREETING IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST. I AM MRS.SOLANGE WAAIDI,A WIDOW TO LATE MIKA WAAIDI. I AM 50 YEARS OLD,I AM A NEW CHRISTIAN CONVERT, SUFFERING FROM LONG TIME CANCER OF THE BREAST,FROM ALL INDICATION MY CONDITIONS IS REALLY DETERIORATING AND IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS THAT I WON'T LIVE MORE THAN SIX MONTHS,ACCORDING TO MY DOCTORS,THIS IS BECAUSE THE CANCER STAGE HAS GOTTEN TO A VERY BAD STAGE. MY LATE HUSBAND WAS KILLED DURING THE COTE'D IVORE CIVIL WAR, AND DURING THE PERIOD OF OUR MARRIAGE WE COULD'NT PRODUCE ANY CHILD. MY LATE HUSBAND WAS VERY WEALTHY AND AFTER HIS DEATH, I INHERITED ALL HIS BUSINESS AND WEALTH.THE DOCTORS HAS ADVISED ME THAT I MAY NOT LIVE FOR MORE THAN SIX MONTHS;SO I NOW DECIDED TO DIVIDE THE PART OF THIS WEALTH, TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE CHRIST CHURCHS AROUND THE GLOBE. I SELECTED YOU AFTER VISITING THE INTERNET AND I PRAYED OVER IT.I AM WILLING TO DONATE THE SUM OF $5,000.000.00 U.S DOLLARS,TO THE LESS PRIVILEGED.PLEASE I WANT YOU TO NOTE THAT THIS FUND IS LYING IN AN INTERNATIONAL BANK.I HONESTLY PRAY THAT THIS MONEY,WHEN TRANSFERRED WILL BE USED FOR THE SAID PURPOSE;BECAUSE I HAVE COME TO FIND OUT THAT WEALTH ACQUISITION WITHOUT CHRIST IS VANITY. MAY THE GRACE OF OUR LORD JESUS THE LOVE OF GOD AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE HOLY SPRITE BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY,I AWAIT YOUR URGENT REPLY.
YOURS IN CHRIST,
MRS.SOLANGE WAAIDI.
Have they resorted to using the Lord's name in vein now? I cannot even begin to understand what kind of person sits at a computer and writes this stuff. And you have to be some kind of heathen to use the Lord so shamelessly.
But you know what? On the flip side, I cannot fathom the kind of poor sap that falls for it. If we are still falling for scam mails in this day and age, in THIS here recession, I am sorry but we deserve to get got. Dismissed!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I just found out that my father passed away. Not recently, he passed away on New Year's Eve. Yes, as you search your mental calender, you are realizing that is five months ago. And I found out today.
My brother and I have been living the life of fatherless adults for years now. We knew where to find him, as he knew where to find us. Yet no one sought a relationship. The last time we'd visited with him, it was because a friend of his told my mother my father had had a stroke.
Again we'd gotten the news very late, but when we were told we went straight to his apartment. It had been over a year since the stroke but the damage was evident. We watched as he tried to spoon feed himself chocolate cake; his hand shaking like Ali when he carried the Olympic Torch. I decided then, that I didn't want to see him like that again. The father I remember was strong, warm, and loving. The one I saw that day, years ago, couldn't even speak a coherent sentence.
Was I wrong for wanting to remember him my way? Will I regret it now that I know he's gone? To be honest, I don't know much of anything right now. I thought writing would clarify my feelings. I still feel hollow. There has been a piece of me missing since my mom and dad went their separate ways. This just feels like confirmation.
My brother and I have been living the life of fatherless adults for years now. We knew where to find him, as he knew where to find us. Yet no one sought a relationship. The last time we'd visited with him, it was because a friend of his told my mother my father had had a stroke.
Again we'd gotten the news very late, but when we were told we went straight to his apartment. It had been over a year since the stroke but the damage was evident. We watched as he tried to spoon feed himself chocolate cake; his hand shaking like Ali when he carried the Olympic Torch. I decided then, that I didn't want to see him like that again. The father I remember was strong, warm, and loving. The one I saw that day, years ago, couldn't even speak a coherent sentence.
Was I wrong for wanting to remember him my way? Will I regret it now that I know he's gone? To be honest, I don't know much of anything right now. I thought writing would clarify my feelings. I still feel hollow. There has been a piece of me missing since my mom and dad went their separate ways. This just feels like confirmation.
Friday, April 3, 2009
The First 50
Here's a bit of word association. I saw it on a friend's Facebook page and decided to indulge. I've typed exactly what came to mind when I read the word. I'm on a mission to find out where my head is these days-figured this is a fine start!
The rules are as follows (in case you haven't got the jist of it and want to try it yourself);
Type what comes to mind FIRST whenever you see these 50 words. No second thoughts, no going back and changing things. It's not about being PC and it doesn’t matter how random it is!
1. Beer: I'd have to be tipsy first to enjoy one
2. Food: my weakness
3. Relationships: hard work
4. Crush: Common
5. Dreams: attaining them can be simple or complicated but you don't know until you try
6. Life: is a series of trials and errors
7. President: MAYBE
8. Yummy: indulge now feel guilty later
9. Cars: KB just might love them more than me
10. Movies: Dolby Digital
11. Halloween: for kids
12. Sex: *smiles*
13. Religion: my core
14. Hate: a word I use too liberally
15. Fear: failure
16. Marriage: next step....next year?
17. Blondes: overrated...lol
18. Slippers: slipper socks are heaven
19. Shoes: beautiful and painful
20. Men: can't live with them....can't procreate without them
21. Women: more difficult that we'd like to believe
22. Pass time: Books
23. Cell Phone: crackberry
24. Smoke: stinky
25. Fantasy: Money is no object
26. College: choices
27. High school: carefree
28. Pajamas: tshirt and panties
29. Stars: constantly reaching for them
30. Goal: meaningful accomplishments
31. Alcohol: alter ego-Nessa Fierce, lol
32. Love: consuming
33. Friends: like snowflakes- no two are alike
34. Money: I don't have enough
35. Heartache: devastating
36. Time: never seem to use it wisely
37. Divorce: not an option
38. Dogs: Yorkie or a pug...one day soon
39. Undies: boy shorts are my fav
40. Parents: made me who I am
41. Babies: one day *crosses fingers*
42. Ex: ex for a reason
43. Song: Right now I have Mavado "Settle Down" in my head
44. Color: Blue
45. Weddings: expensive
46. Pizza: Italians think of all the good foods
47. Hangout: wine and friends
48. Rest: none for the weary
49. Achievement: still working on making a name for myself
50. Inspiration: failure
The rules are as follows (in case you haven't got the jist of it and want to try it yourself);
Type what comes to mind FIRST whenever you see these 50 words. No second thoughts, no going back and changing things. It's not about being PC and it doesn’t matter how random it is!
1. Beer: I'd have to be tipsy first to enjoy one
2. Food: my weakness
3. Relationships: hard work
4. Crush: Common
5. Dreams: attaining them can be simple or complicated but you don't know until you try
6. Life: is a series of trials and errors
7. President: MAYBE
8. Yummy: indulge now feel guilty later
9. Cars: KB just might love them more than me
10. Movies: Dolby Digital
11. Halloween: for kids
12. Sex: *smiles*
13. Religion: my core
14. Hate: a word I use too liberally
15. Fear: failure
16. Marriage: next step....next year?
17. Blondes: overrated...lol
18. Slippers: slipper socks are heaven
19. Shoes: beautiful and painful
20. Men: can't live with them....can't procreate without them
21. Women: more difficult that we'd like to believe
22. Pass time: Books
23. Cell Phone: crackberry
24. Smoke: stinky
25. Fantasy: Money is no object
26. College: choices
27. High school: carefree
28. Pajamas: tshirt and panties
29. Stars: constantly reaching for them
30. Goal: meaningful accomplishments
31. Alcohol: alter ego-Nessa Fierce, lol
32. Love: consuming
33. Friends: like snowflakes- no two are alike
34. Money: I don't have enough
35. Heartache: devastating
36. Time: never seem to use it wisely
37. Divorce: not an option
38. Dogs: Yorkie or a pug...one day soon
39. Undies: boy shorts are my fav
40. Parents: made me who I am
41. Babies: one day *crosses fingers*
42. Ex: ex for a reason
43. Song: Right now I have Mavado "Settle Down" in my head
44. Color: Blue
45. Weddings: expensive
46. Pizza: Italians think of all the good foods
47. Hangout: wine and friends
48. Rest: none for the weary
49. Achievement: still working on making a name for myself
50. Inspiration: failure
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Just my thoughts man
I'm baaaaaaaack.
Shout out to KB! Happy Birthday babes. Lord knows you are my daily April fool's joke.
Please don't wonder why I haven't posted much. I have no answers, there is no legitimate reason. Just plain haven't felt like it. It's nice to know you missed me though! *waves*
Between this Steve Harvey craze, various chats with my newlywed friend, Slim's thoughts, and the one argument that will I am confident will be the demise of KB and I, I am beginning to wonder if I am subconsciously sabotaging.
Miss Independent, tends to focus a lot on herself. Specifically, what I need to do to get where I want to be. I guess I have a one track mind-that track being my own road to success. And even if there is a passenger or two in the car, I am the driver. It's been damn near four years and I still haven't grasped the "we".
I can't shake my independence. I have had to do for self since for as long as I can remember. But it's no longer my redeeming quality, it's become baggage. I want to unpack that bag and make room for the domestic goddess. The one who doesn't cringe when she hears Destiny's Child sing Cater 2 U (I am even making faces as I write the song title. It is gonna be an uphill battle).
If there are any reformed "me" to "we" girls out there, please help a sista out. What exactly does this transition entail? I tried a few things with the experiment (which did show promise) but I do not think I can add that to my daily routine.
If you have ideas, I'd be happy to hear them. Maybe even try a thing or two. I am ready for the 2nd step. I've already admitted the problem.
Shout out to KB! Happy Birthday babes. Lord knows you are my daily April fool's joke.
Please don't wonder why I haven't posted much. I have no answers, there is no legitimate reason. Just plain haven't felt like it. It's nice to know you missed me though! *waves*
Between this Steve Harvey craze, various chats with my newlywed friend, Slim's thoughts, and the one argument that will I am confident will be the demise of KB and I, I am beginning to wonder if I am subconsciously sabotaging.
Miss Independent, tends to focus a lot on herself. Specifically, what I need to do to get where I want to be. I guess I have a one track mind-that track being my own road to success. And even if there is a passenger or two in the car, I am the driver. It's been damn near four years and I still haven't grasped the "we".
I can't shake my independence. I have had to do for self since for as long as I can remember. But it's no longer my redeeming quality, it's become baggage. I want to unpack that bag and make room for the domestic goddess. The one who doesn't cringe when she hears Destiny's Child sing Cater 2 U (I am even making faces as I write the song title. It is gonna be an uphill battle).
If there are any reformed "me" to "we" girls out there, please help a sista out. What exactly does this transition entail? I tried a few things with the experiment (which did show promise) but I do not think I can add that to my daily routine.
If you have ideas, I'd be happy to hear them. Maybe even try a thing or two. I am ready for the 2nd step. I've already admitted the problem.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
My Blogiversary
(Why do I hear Toni Tony Tone in my head, "its your anniversary"?)
On this day in 2008, I woke up with an odd pain in my back. I hadn't done anything freaky or fun the night before so I couldn't fathom what would cause me pain. And then it hit me.
More intense than the pain was the realization that I am getting old. Only old people have pain for no reason! I figured pretty soon I'll know when it's going to rain by the ache in my knee (you know every old person has that gift). In an effort to laugh, to keep from crying, I began chronicling my transition from late 20's to early 30's and folks this here blog is what we ended up with.
I made a few friends along the way. Most of them too shy to add their two sense *waves at friends on the west coast and in Europe who drop by now and then* . Love ya anyway!
What have I learned from this year?
-Grown up relationships are hard and need constant nurturing
-Mistakes don't matter nearly as much as what you learn from
-I have a shopping addiction
-With growth comes a bit of separation from those who have not evolved with you
-My biological clock needs some to be on some daylight savings asap, cuz we are not ready
-I am a behind schedule in terms of planning for my future
To name a few. I hope the lessons from my last year in my 20's are equally valid. I hope that when I fall down I can pick myself up again. I hope you guys are still along for the ride!
Happy Blogiversary!
On this day in 2008, I woke up with an odd pain in my back. I hadn't done anything freaky or fun the night before so I couldn't fathom what would cause me pain. And then it hit me.
More intense than the pain was the realization that I am getting old. Only old people have pain for no reason! I figured pretty soon I'll know when it's going to rain by the ache in my knee (you know every old person has that gift). In an effort to laugh, to keep from crying, I began chronicling my transition from late 20's to early 30's and folks this here blog is what we ended up with.
I made a few friends along the way. Most of them too shy to add their two sense *waves at friends on the west coast and in Europe who drop by now and then* . Love ya anyway!
What have I learned from this year?
-Grown up relationships are hard and need constant nurturing
-Mistakes don't matter nearly as much as what you learn from
-I have a shopping addiction
-With growth comes a bit of separation from those who have not evolved with you
-My biological clock needs some to be on some daylight savings asap, cuz we are not ready
-I am a behind schedule in terms of planning for my future
To name a few. I hope the lessons from my last year in my 20's are equally valid. I hope that when I fall down I can pick myself up again. I hope you guys are still along for the ride!
Happy Blogiversary!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The Man of My Dreams
Yall don't even understand how pissed I was when I woke up this morning. After dreaming about being this man's significant other and all the goodness it bring....I woke up next to a totally different person, lol.
I love my baby but that was not a pleasant surprise!
My imagination is too wild at night.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
A Dream Deferred-Part Deux
The snooze button on my biological clock has not given me a sense of peace. I thought rationalizing the fact that I am not "ready" financially, morally (I do want to be married first), emotionally (still have mama issues I need to get past) would put things in perspective.
It has not.
If I am not thinking about parenthood in the day, I will most certainly see our offspring in my dreams at night. In recent months, in just about every dream (no matter the content) there is a little girl by my side. The most beautiful girl child I have ever seen.
My friend's mom says I am not over the loss of my first child and it is her I see in my dreams. She is watching over me. I like that theory, it comforts me at times.
But I think the more accurate theory is that I am plum crazy. Not Nadya Suleman crazy, but deranged just the same.
There is a hole where my heart used to be. No matter how much I try to fill it with other things, nothing comes close to motherhood.
My biggest fear? Its not raccoons or drowning, as I have led others to believe (though they do scare the shit out of me). It is that little girl, the one in my dreams, being the closest thing I will ever have to a biological child.
It has not.
If I am not thinking about parenthood in the day, I will most certainly see our offspring in my dreams at night. In recent months, in just about every dream (no matter the content) there is a little girl by my side. The most beautiful girl child I have ever seen.
My friend's mom says I am not over the loss of my first child and it is her I see in my dreams. She is watching over me. I like that theory, it comforts me at times.
But I think the more accurate theory is that I am plum crazy. Not Nadya Suleman crazy, but deranged just the same.
There is a hole where my heart used to be. No matter how much I try to fill it with other things, nothing comes close to motherhood.
My biggest fear? Its not raccoons or drowning, as I have led others to believe (though they do scare the shit out of me). It is that little girl, the one in my dreams, being the closest thing I will ever have to a biological child.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Save the advice for someone who needs it
I will start by saying I am far from perfect. Just about every week I air out my imperfections right here. With that said, I am no fan of unsolicited advice. Please do not tell me what to do if I have not asked your opinion.
I've recently become re acquainted with an ex. He is married, baby on the way. You guys are aware that I,too, have a significant other. While I love that we can be friends, there is something that boils my blood about his lil pep talks.
I feel as though it will come to the point where I ask "does your wife take kindly to these lectures?"
If I respond "spaghetti" to the question "what's for dinner?" He suggests I add a little sausage. He has a helpful damn hint for everything,"hand wash the dishes don't use the dishwasher that's lazy". Oh it is? I will be sure and let your wife know you'd prefer that the dishes are hand washed at your house. We use the dishwasher at mine.
Am I over reacting? The way I see it...I run this, it is MY home. He is in no way involved in our daily activities so why should he have an unsolicited say so?
I've recently become re acquainted with an ex. He is married, baby on the way. You guys are aware that I,too, have a significant other. While I love that we can be friends, there is something that boils my blood about his lil pep talks.
I feel as though it will come to the point where I ask "does your wife take kindly to these lectures?"
If I respond "spaghetti" to the question "what's for dinner?" He suggests I add a little sausage. He has a helpful damn hint for everything,"hand wash the dishes don't use the dishwasher that's lazy". Oh it is? I will be sure and let your wife know you'd prefer that the dishes are hand washed at your house. We use the dishwasher at mine.
Am I over reacting? The way I see it...I run this, it is MY home. He is in no way involved in our daily activities so why should he have an unsolicited say so?
Sunday, February 1, 2009
How's the weather?
It's been a while but I can't go very long without getting shit off my chest. I need my blog to vent, and I need my readers...well cuz it's nice to know I'm not talking to myself.
Today's vendetta? Small Talk. It irks me. I just don't get it. Don't ask what I am doing for the sake of asking. And we both know you don't really care how the family, boyfriend, job, fill in the blank is....why ask?
If you are asking out of genuine interest and concern that is different. But asking just to preface what you REALLY want to talk about? Spare me please! I don't mind you getting to the point after the initial "hello?", "hey what's up?" part of the conversation. I honestly don't. In fact I prefer it.
So many people do not understand this about me. KB is one of those people. Even after having spoken to him two or three times in one day he will still start a conversation with "what's up?" Are you kidding? Please say what it is that needs to be said!
Am I crazy, or is small talk unnecessary?
Today's vendetta? Small Talk. It irks me. I just don't get it. Don't ask what I am doing for the sake of asking. And we both know you don't really care how the family, boyfriend, job, fill in the blank is....why ask?
If you are asking out of genuine interest and concern that is different. But asking just to preface what you REALLY want to talk about? Spare me please! I don't mind you getting to the point after the initial "hello?", "hey what's up?" part of the conversation. I honestly don't. In fact I prefer it.
So many people do not understand this about me. KB is one of those people. Even after having spoken to him two or three times in one day he will still start a conversation with "what's up?" Are you kidding? Please say what it is that needs to be said!
Am I crazy, or is small talk unnecessary?
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Return to Sender
When we spend a long period of time with a significant other we acquire stuff; gifts, momentous, and the like. Even when the relationship does not last these things they've brought into our lives are constant reminders.
Do we give them back?
No. That's petty. Should we keep them? I don't know. Who wants constant reminders? And what if it is replaced by something nicer from the new s.o? You find yourself wearing a pretty cocktail ring so often that the new guy notices. He picks up an beautiful one and presents it to you as a gift. Is that license to toss the other one aside?
What about a sexy nightie? If a man buys you sexy lingerie for his own eyes is it ok to wear it for the new boo?
I thought about all these things the other day. The heat in our apartment has been non existent at best which meant the traditional tshirt and undies to bed was just not gonna cut it. I fumbled through the many pj sets I have and do not use, looking for the ultimate in comfort. Flannel.
And there it was baby blue capri pant with winnie the pooh (my absolute fav man on the planet). As I pulled them on I remembered the set was the highly coveted gift of the century, given to me a few years prior by an ex. Though I still adore these pjs I was almost hesitant to put them on because of how much I once loved them, and loved him for knowing I would.
I shrugged it off. "They're just pajamas" I decided as I slipped them on. When I emerged from the bedroom KB noticed right away. "Bringing Pooh back?"
Does he even know how much I once adored Pooh? Does he know all things Pooh were the go to gift for me at one point in life? Probably not. So he can't know my pjs came from a man. Would he be upset if he did?
All the mental rambling got be to thinking of all the other things I've collected from guys along the way. What do you ladies do with ex stuff? Return to sender?
Do we give them back?
No. That's petty. Should we keep them? I don't know. Who wants constant reminders? And what if it is replaced by something nicer from the new s.o? You find yourself wearing a pretty cocktail ring so often that the new guy notices. He picks up an beautiful one and presents it to you as a gift. Is that license to toss the other one aside?
What about a sexy nightie? If a man buys you sexy lingerie for his own eyes is it ok to wear it for the new boo?
I thought about all these things the other day. The heat in our apartment has been non existent at best which meant the traditional tshirt and undies to bed was just not gonna cut it. I fumbled through the many pj sets I have and do not use, looking for the ultimate in comfort. Flannel.
And there it was baby blue capri pant with winnie the pooh (my absolute fav man on the planet). As I pulled them on I remembered the set was the highly coveted gift of the century, given to me a few years prior by an ex. Though I still adore these pjs I was almost hesitant to put them on because of how much I once loved them, and loved him for knowing I would.
I shrugged it off. "They're just pajamas" I decided as I slipped them on. When I emerged from the bedroom KB noticed right away. "Bringing Pooh back?"
Does he even know how much I once adored Pooh? Does he know all things Pooh were the go to gift for me at one point in life? Probably not. So he can't know my pjs came from a man. Would he be upset if he did?
All the mental rambling got be to thinking of all the other things I've collected from guys along the way. What do you ladies do with ex stuff? Return to sender?
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Maybe
I do not think hope is something I ever really understood until this presidential election. I am always about realism, logistics. Give me facts that I can refer back to, concrete findings, statistics. I was never one for abstract thought or hypothetical. "Maybe" has almost certainly meant "no" in the past. But even the realist in me sees that there is something extraordinary about potential.
Throughout the inaugural weekend my elation was coupled with a hopeful song on my soul. Like a record skipping these few words played over and over;
Oh there been times that I thought I couldn't last for long
But now I think I am able to carry on
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come
I wasn't around when Sam Cooke made those words famous, but I share the sentiment just the same. That change has been coming since the Civil Rights Movement...and though I am not optimistic enough to say it is here, I cannot deny the "maybe" my heart is filled with.
Maybe we can fix some of those Bush mistakes
Maybe America's reputation can be restored
Maybe the country will continue to live in this harmonious existence
Maybe hard work truly does pay of
Maybe we are starting to be judged by the content of our character
Maybe change does start with ONE person
Maybe
Maybe
MAYBE
......Maybe "maybe" isn't as bad as I thought. Maybe hope is all I needed all these years.
Throughout the inaugural weekend my elation was coupled with a hopeful song on my soul. Like a record skipping these few words played over and over;
Oh there been times that I thought I couldn't last for long
But now I think I am able to carry on
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come
I wasn't around when Sam Cooke made those words famous, but I share the sentiment just the same. That change has been coming since the Civil Rights Movement...and though I am not optimistic enough to say it is here, I cannot deny the "maybe" my heart is filled with.
Maybe we can fix some of those Bush mistakes
Maybe America's reputation can be restored
Maybe the country will continue to live in this harmonious existence
Maybe hard work truly does pay of
Maybe we are starting to be judged by the content of our character
Maybe change does start with ONE person
Maybe
Maybe
MAYBE
......Maybe "maybe" isn't as bad as I thought. Maybe hope is all I needed all these years.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
My President is Black
And America loves him almost as much as his wife does! Happy Inauguration Day!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
What's in a Name?
Romeo told Juliet "that which we call a rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet". If that is true, than is that which we call Adolf Hitler just as merciless? Should we be just as fearful?
Confused? Not as confused as I was when I learned that an NJ couple named their son Adolf Hitler Campbell.
I will wait. You'll probably need to let that marinate for a bit.
Now that you've let it really set in...don't fly off the handle just yet. You haven't heard what they've named their daughters. His sister's names? JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell. Go ahead. Curse them. Shake your head. Rant about how birth control should not be an option but a mandate. I did all that and then some before turning off the news last night.
Ironically, I have always said parents who name their children with such disregard for their futures should be deemed unfit. I sincerely believed Social Services should take them away; it is child abuse in my eyes. But even then, I meant names like Diamond, Versace, Mercedes, Karlequa. And the pre-fixes! (sigh) You know Ty, La, Rae, added to perfectly fine name like Keith. THOSE are the parents I believed could not really care for the children they are rearing.
After careful consideration, I just might take that back. Because if it was between LaKeith James Patterson and Adolf Hitler Campbell? Adolf loses every time.
Confused? Not as confused as I was when I learned that an NJ couple named their son Adolf Hitler Campbell.
I will wait. You'll probably need to let that marinate for a bit.
Now that you've let it really set in...don't fly off the handle just yet. You haven't heard what they've named their daughters. His sister's names? JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell. Go ahead. Curse them. Shake your head. Rant about how birth control should not be an option but a mandate. I did all that and then some before turning off the news last night.
Ironically, I have always said parents who name their children with such disregard for their futures should be deemed unfit. I sincerely believed Social Services should take them away; it is child abuse in my eyes. But even then, I meant names like Diamond, Versace, Mercedes, Karlequa. And the pre-fixes! (sigh) You know Ty, La, Rae, added to perfectly fine name like Keith. THOSE are the parents I believed could not really care for the children they are rearing.
After careful consideration, I just might take that back. Because if it was between LaKeith James Patterson and Adolf Hitler Campbell? Adolf loses every time.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
A Dream Deferred
A bunch of bougie party-throwers got it in their heads that they can make a whole lot of cash off of the few folks who will not be in DC this weekend. Not much unlike DC residents who will be raking it in off of the thousands who will be there.
How?
Throw around the words "Yes We Can" and "I Have a Dream". If it is not MLK or Obama related it is not happening this weekend. My Facebook page has been bombarded with invites and I know it is not just here in Boston. If we're getting THIS much excitement imagine LA, MIA, ATL, NY, Chi-town? It's reason enough for people to go harder than DJ Khalid, Kanye, and T Pain.
So this is where my plea comes in. Brown folks, pay particular attention. As we go forth and party in the name of change...let's mean it. If we are going to embrace the messages of these men, let's do the message some real justice. Can we make some REAL changes?
Can we forget about the fact that some guy hit on your girl or stepped on your Kenneth Cole loafers and NOT "see him" outside? Can we choose to respect the woman who has declined your offer to "get to know" each other? Maybe say "that's cool. It was nice to meet you" instead of "fuck you, you ain't all that anyway"? Winter weather is upon us, ladies, can we avoid wearing that mini dress? Can we leave the heels at home until we've learned to walk in them? Can we not lead a brotha on in the name of free alcohol? Can we order a bottle of Moet and drink it out of the glass instead of bringing the bottle to the dance floor? Can we leave the sunglasses at home? We do go to these parties after the sun has gone down, correct? While we are at it, can we remove the 2 carat CZs as well?
Yes We Can!
(pause. I'll wait, you may need a church fan, bout to break off some knowledge)
I have a dream! That one day... hopefully as soon as this weekend... we will live up to the expectations of those who paved the way for us to be humanized in America. One day we will stop acting life the buffoons we are portrayed as, in the media. My dream is that ABWs (Angry Black Women) and thuggery (gold chains and teeth included) will become stereotypes of the past. Can we behave a little but more like Barack and Michelle? Can we perpetuate THAT image instead of the ones displayed on Real Chance at Love?
I HAVE A DREAM! That the cops who shot young black men last week (in two separate incidents) will be prosecuted for their unwarranted and racist acts of violence. Wait that's another topic for another post. Sorry I was on a roll.
In that faithful speech Dr. King said "America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked 'insufficient funds.' If we are to consider the Obama Inauguration a sign that that check has finally been cashed, brown people....all I ask is that we do not spend it all in one place.
How?
Throw around the words "Yes We Can" and "I Have a Dream". If it is not MLK or Obama related it is not happening this weekend. My Facebook page has been bombarded with invites and I know it is not just here in Boston. If we're getting THIS much excitement imagine LA, MIA, ATL, NY, Chi-town? It's reason enough for people to go harder than DJ Khalid, Kanye, and T Pain.
So this is where my plea comes in. Brown folks, pay particular attention. As we go forth and party in the name of change...let's mean it. If we are going to embrace the messages of these men, let's do the message some real justice. Can we make some REAL changes?
Can we forget about the fact that some guy hit on your girl or stepped on your Kenneth Cole loafers and NOT "see him" outside? Can we choose to respect the woman who has declined your offer to "get to know" each other? Maybe say "that's cool. It was nice to meet you" instead of "fuck you, you ain't all that anyway"? Winter weather is upon us, ladies, can we avoid wearing that mini dress? Can we leave the heels at home until we've learned to walk in them? Can we not lead a brotha on in the name of free alcohol? Can we order a bottle of Moet and drink it out of the glass instead of bringing the bottle to the dance floor? Can we leave the sunglasses at home? We do go to these parties after the sun has gone down, correct? While we are at it, can we remove the 2 carat CZs as well?
Yes We Can!
(pause. I'll wait, you may need a church fan, bout to break off some knowledge)
I have a dream! That one day... hopefully as soon as this weekend... we will live up to the expectations of those who paved the way for us to be humanized in America. One day we will stop acting life the buffoons we are portrayed as, in the media. My dream is that ABWs (Angry Black Women) and thuggery (gold chains and teeth included) will become stereotypes of the past. Can we behave a little but more like Barack and Michelle? Can we perpetuate THAT image instead of the ones displayed on Real Chance at Love?
I HAVE A DREAM! That the cops who shot young black men last week (in two separate incidents) will be prosecuted for their unwarranted and racist acts of violence. Wait that's another topic for another post. Sorry I was on a roll.
In that faithful speech Dr. King said "America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked 'insufficient funds.' If we are to consider the Obama Inauguration a sign that that check has finally been cashed, brown people....all I ask is that we do not spend it all in one place.
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