Friday, August 22, 2008

Those of you who know me, know that I am always trying to make ME better. That is essentially what this blog is about. I truly believe my 20's have been about shaping me for the rest of my life; deciding who I am am, who I want to be, and where I want to go.

I attended a graduation today and although it was one of the smallest ceremonies I have ever attended, I heard one of the most profound pieces of advice I've ever heard. Simple and concise, the professors words are still with me 5 hours after the speech concluded.

"make mistakes but make them once"

Simple right? But think about it...growing up is making mistakes, it is trial and error. It is what you have done that makes you who you are. So it isn't about perfection, it's about learning from your mistakes. The only way to truly learn from them is to be sure that you are not habitually repeating them.

Readers, go forth make mistakes! Fall down. Dust yourself off; as long as you are just a bit more careful about recreating that same hurt every bruise is worth it.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Why Are Black Women So Mean?

You're angry from just reading the title aren't you? lol This is a topic that is always up for debate; most recently on a post I read on Stuff Black People Hate. The issue? Why are black women so unapproachable?

Rather than counter-argue, and defend my entire race.... I'd prefer to share an experience I had recently.

A friend of mine accompanied me to a club I've been curious about. It was just the two of us, not a herd. Anyhow, we were kickin it, chillaxin in a corner when a man approached me. He was mildly attractive, white male, friendly demeanor so when he approached I was not defensive or instantly agitated. In fact, I engaged in conversation with him for 20 minutes or so (could have been longer). We laughed, joked, etc. He was headed back to the bar and asked if I wanted anything. Initially I said no but he pushed (so much so that I sort of wondered if I should accompany him in case he tried to slip me something) and eventually I accepted the offer.

He returned with my drink and we chatted it up some more. I honestly thought that he was a cool guy, so imagine my surprise when our conversation shifted;

Him; "So we seem to get along well, maybe we can have dinner sometime? Can I take you out?"
Me; "Oh, I am so sorry. I am actually in a relationship right now."
*Glares at me as if I'd stolen the oxygen mask off his dying grandmother*
Him; "YOU WHAT? Man, I wish you would have told me all of that before!"
*Return his stare and wonder if it is possible he slipped a knife past the metal detector*
Me; "I'm sorry, it didn't come up. I thought we were just kickin it. Didn't realize you were interested."
Him; "If you weren't so cool, I would ask you for my money back."

Mmm Hmm....THAT my dears is why black women tend to be a little standoffish. Being nice can give people the wrong impression. 

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The Art of "Agree to Disagree"

In my current relationship, I am dating one of the most stubborn personalities I have ever come across. I have a very strong (and sometimes insensitively honest) demeanor about me. The combination obviously leads to some headed debates. Occasionally they do lead to a light bulb moment, but more often than not they lead to me saying very loudly "ok let's just end the conversation here, it is not going to go anywhere".

I think it the best means to avoiding a heated end. Why go through the shouting, racing pulse, shallow breathing, and anger an argument ensues when you know there will be no agreement in the end? Why NOT bypass all that drama before it gets to that point?

Because as I said...he is STUBBORN, lol. KB would rather continue to defend his point than have an amicable end to a tense conversation.

Have any of my readers mastered the art of "agree to disagree"? Any idea why my method isn't foolproof?

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Bernie Mac

Bernard Jeffrey McCullough
October 5, 1957-August 9, 2008

It took me a while to be able to write about this loss because I honestly didn't want to believe it. While he has been out of the public eye for a few months, I never would have attributed that disappearance to sickness. Bernie has always been virile, energetic, larger than life. To imagine him in a hospital bed, clinging to life is surreal. Maybe that is why his family hid it for so long.

But the truth of the matter is he was sick. And he did pass away. There is a great loss in black comedy. I've been a Bernie fan since way back. I remember when he was Moesha's uncle! His sense of humor was out there...but damned if he wasn't funny as hell.

I am still calling people a "summamab*tch", still saying "jingalang, jingalang", still want to know "where my cookies and shit?". The man was an icon, he truly will be missed. And in the words of George Clooney "the world just became a lot less funny"

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Am I the only one that noticed?

Many of you know this man as new rapper Maino (say it with me now "Hi Hater!"). But has anyone noticed how much he looks like ....

Actor Khalil Kain? You guys know him from Juice and maybe more recently as Darnell on the UPN series Girlfriends. I say it's an alter ego (ok fine, more like brother from another mother)...

Is it just me?