Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Spoiled Children...Rotten Adults

Every parent wants their child to have all the things they were not afforded. A parent who was never taken to the circus will make a conscious effort to bring the child every year. One whose parents never involved them in extra-curriculars may grow up to be the parent whose (over-committed) child has to consult a calender just to figure out what is on each day's agenda.

It is not abnormal to want to give your child the things your childhood lacked. But what if it were material things? Do you scramble to buy your kid Jordan's because you remember being made fun of for wearing BoBo's (yeah "BoBo's...they cost $1.99, BoBo's the make your feet feel fine"...don't act like you don't remember that). Everyone else had Atari but your parents said no. Does that mean you buy Jr. every Xbox, Nintendo DS, Playstation, model on the market?

Where does it stop?

It doesn't. The child becomes an adult who has distorted view of the world. They have an illogical sense of entitlement. It's the woman who I falls in love with a dress in the store and becomes enraged when they don't have her size. The high school student who loses interest in college applications after getting a low SAT score. The man in your office who becomes disoriented when he starts a project and it does not go exactly according to plan. The girl who is discouraged from trying something a second time when she was no good at it the first. The list goes on and on. And no... one does not necessarily lead to another but there is a distinct relationship.

Material possessions last for a short period of time, but character is forever.

Friday, July 25, 2008

A Mean Shoe Game

I know my ladies can relate. Nothing makes you feel sexier than a pair of heels. In fact, for the right man...some ladies will show up to the bedroom wearing nothing more.

I read that "Our intimate relationship with shoes begins shortly after we learn to walk. As soon as we want to feel 'grown-up,' we slip on a pair of our mother's shoes, preferably high heels, instantly heightening our sense of what it means to be female. And then what happens? We grow up and get to be the same size as Mummy and our personality begins to assert itself with the first independent purchase of shoes. As adults, we ask shoes to be our representatives. At any given moment, they are indicators of our age, mood and desires."

Doesn't that say it all?

For months now I have been searching for the perfect pair of heels to compliment this dress. I have no real idea what I am looking for. Maybe pewter, maybe bronze....and animal print would also be cute. But, overall, what I am looking for is that pair of shoes that makes makes me exhale when I put it on for the first time.

I thought that I found it in Aldo. I was drawn to the shoe immediately. I actually visited with it several times before I buckled down and tried it on. When I finally did I fell in love! And with it being on clearance I had to buy it. I had to! It was $24, tell me you wouldn't have!

Gorgeous isn't it?

The problem is the heel is five inches. FIVE! I am 5'7" so do the math. I have no business being 6" tall. For starters, I can see eye to eye with KB who is 6'4". If that isn't bad enough, it also inadvertently gives me a hooker stroll (you know that fast paced stride where you are leaning forward as if gravity will not allow you to stand up straight?).

Sadly, the shoe must go back and I have no prospects for a replacement. My trip to Miami is now 4 weeks away, I am starting to hyperventilate as I type. The shoe game is essential to preserving my sexy. Where am I going to find this perfect pair of heels?

Whoa is me....

***I never did return the shoe. Instead, I went home everyday after work and practiced walking in them. I did end up wearing them to the wedding and the ensemble was FAB!!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Sly Fox

Watch what you watchin'
Fox keeps feeding us toxins
Stop sleeping Start thinking
Outside of the box and
Unplug from The Matrix doctrine
But watch what you say Fox 5 is watchin'

Every now and then Nas fights the urge to be like every other rapper and allows us to be enlightened. We all know he has had his off days (like the day he walked in the studio and recorded "You We Me" with Ginuwine). Those are the instances that tempt us to compartmentalize Nas; put him in the He Was Once a Talented Rapper box. But we have to keep one thing in mind...When Nas speaks the truth we can't help but be informed.

On his current eye opening agenda Nas showed the masses how Fox really feel about Black Americans. I've been shaking me damn head ever since. Sometimes we turn a blind eye to what America considers Black Worth, but Mr. Jones has taken it upon himself to redirect us and make us face it. Yesterday Nas hand delivered a petition of 60,000 signatures to the Fox network's NY offices requesting they end racial propaganda.

What propaganda?

You guys may remember me mentioning the Obama family attacks in a previous post. Fox is also behind the "baby mama" comment, and they are the network airing Bill O'Reilly's show. Need I say more?

I must admit, this one has my full attention. I never realized that a lot of the inappropriate Obama comments were coming from the same place. These are very subtle attacks, not only on his family but black American families as a whole. After all...if being a loving dutiful wife and mother dubs you a "baby mama" because you happen to be brown as well, how many more "baby mamas" are out there?

I will now watch Fox keenly and be mindful of the other media outlets under their umbrella. Usually I am the first to scream "smells like a publicity stunt" when these controversy comes at a time when a start is promoting new work. And, yes, Nas does have a new album (with the Sly Fox single taking direct aim at the network). I still do not believe that he is gunning for publicity as Fox has suggested.

Truth is as truth does...

Keep a watchful eye y'all. That Fox is indeed sly.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Tomorrow Never Dies

I know, I know. Yet again I have let weeks pass without blogging. I guess I have been a little uninspired, I frequent other blogs and these writers do such a good point of summarizing current events...sometimes I just feel like "what more can be said about it?".

But I know my readers miss my point of view. And for the love of my readers I promise to make a sound effort to contribute something twice weekly.

Starting with today!

I should first mention that another reason I haven't been around is a medical issue. I am 70% of the way back to complete health but it's been a bumpy ride. I was out of work for nearly two weeks. Normally, being home for a solid week and a half would send me running screaming back to work. But my current job has no appeal....nothing to lure me back.

Last night I was up until after 11 (which is unheard of for me unless I am out and about) doing anything possible to prolong my last day. I knew that in the morning I'd wake up and have to return to a pile of unresolved issues.

As the clock sped on I realized...I despise my job. I literally loathe it. Returning to my cubicle today only confirmed it. I looked around at the stacks of (what is to me) junk and nearly hurled! It's as if they didn't even notice I was gone. No one took it upon themselves to find an alternative to me being gone. Just came by...dropped off their crap, and left. Now for a bunch of people that clearly could not function in my absence, no one cared to stop by my desk and ask if I am feeling better when I finally did return.


It's the kick in the butt I needed though. I know in my heart that my place of employment is no longer a place for me to learn and grow. After being here a year I have peaked...staying here any longer will just stunt my professional growth.

My tomorrow is near. I see a new position on the horizon. Stay tuned!!!

Monday, July 7, 2008

The "independance" in Independance Day

Just thought I'd share an observation I made at work this morning. We are coming off a long weekend...most of us are returning to work after having had 3 fun filled days off.

Naturally everyone in the office is sharing their holiday weekend stories...what they did, who came over, what the ate, alcohol know, the usual holiday weekend festivties.

So I figure, the same things ring true about most people's Independence Day activities ( food, alcohol, fireworks). But the differences seem to be generational. My office is a 60/40 split; 60% are 40+, and 40% are between 25 and 39 (well maybe 39.99% because we do have Mr. Annoying who is about 23).

The Generation Xers are now nostalgic as we've come to the realization that this past weekend was our last long weekend for months. We are now committed to a summer of being indoors bombarded by paperwork. Our stories are reminiscent of the partying, the beach, the fun. And there is a distinct longing in every detail.

Generation Jones on the other hand are all gung-ho to start the work week. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard "the kids drove me crazy this weekend" as a start to an anecdotal. Their stories of in-laws, children, and family fun are not nostalgic by any stretch. It is almost as if they are in a "whose holiday weekend was worse" contest.

This observation has led me to one conclusion, and one conclusion alone. The 4th of July begins to suck somewhere around long-term commitment!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Let Me Tell You Why I'm Mad

This image has been tossed around via email for years now. I have gotten it forwarded to me at least four times. Each time I am more and more embittered. What bothers me is that there was a time where these things were expected of a wife. And today, there are men that are holding onto this ideal. The idea of a "traditional woman" is not forgotten. Whether it's 1954 or 2008... either way this is ri-DAMN-diculous!

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift. Translation: AFTER I cook dinner but BEFORE he walks in the door I am to get prettied up because though I have been slaving for upwards of 10 hours, I must not let him see me that way?

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Make sure the rugrats look presentable. They are a reflection of you. If he comes home and the house isn't tidy, dinner is not made, AND the kids are filthy it doesn't say much about what you've done with your day.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home.

Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind. Translation: Essentially I should shut up and listen to him bitch. My woes are minimal compared to his.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. Yes girl, do not get it twisted...your problems, ideas, and/or thoughts are nowhere near as monumental.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax. So what if all you do everything...that does not entitle you to be treated! What you want a cookie?

The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

No! The goal is to lead your life in a way that is fitting of pleasing yourself! You take care of you first and foremost because a healthy happy significant other is far more priceless than a maid.