Friday Fuck You- The First (and sometimes lasting) Impression

Ms. S and I have been discussing the roles male friends play in our lives. While we both agree that these friendships are solid and genuine, I feel as though my friendships with will forever be tainted by the first impression of me.

Of my three closest male friends (one of which I refer to as my brother) two of them came into my life trying to get into my pants. They got to know me for who I am, through being politely rejected. The third, was a little more subtle in his quest because I had no idea he even looked at me that way until we came back from hanging out one night. We were too intoxicated to dare drive anywhere so I crashed on the futon in his dorm.

***admin note: Before the story continues, I will reiterate that this was (and is to this day) one of my dearest friends. There were many sleepovers, many drunken nights, no fondling, no kissing, nothing. It was completely natural for me to spend the night in his room. And UNHEARD OF for him to expect any to come of it.

Imagine my surprise when he suggested that I join him in the bed? Miraculously the room stopped spinning, and suddenly I was sober as hell. I spoke without slurred speech when I replied "I am quite comfortable right here, THANK YOU. And if you do not stay waaay over there where you belong I will kick you in your neck." Yes, he too, was declined. Just not as politely.

The question remains, how did three of my bestest friends every get the impression that they, that WE, could have been anything more? Dare I ask, as Ms. S so boldly did? Seems silly, when I already know the answer. When the fellas met me, they saw a pretty face and curves, as do most men. They had scandalous thoughts, as do most men.

They didn't know me for me yet; even though we are as tight as Mariah Carey's clothes now...they weren't looking at me for anything resembling friendship back then. That's the reality of it.

Fuck You, first impressions. My body is a wonderland but your name isn't Alice.

Friday Fuck You- Pessimism

By definition, pessimism is the tendency to see, anticipate, or emphasize only bad or undesirable outcomes, results, conditions, problems. Not to be confused with being realistic, pessimism is almost flu like. It starts in your head and pretty soon your whole body aches as a result. I've been feelin that ache these past couple days. I need to recoop and regroup!

There is nothing wrong with being a realist. I am and always will be...but at the same token I find myself walking that very fine line between the two. And lately it seems like I am spending more time on the pessimistic side of the field. All that is going to change!

Fuck You. Pessimism meet the emotional equivalent of Theraflu, Sudafed, and Nyquil. I am about to be over you.

Moving forward my new motto is...

Believe while others are doubting.
Plan while others are playing.
Study while others are sleeping.
Decide while others are delaying.
Prepare while others are daydreaming.
Begin while others are procrastinating.
Work while others are wishing.
Save while others are wasting.
Listen while others are talking.
Smile while others are frowning.
Commend while others are criticizing.
Persist while others are quitting.

Believe While Others-By William Arthur Ward

Friday Fuck You; Writer's Block

The Friday Fuck You has returned after a one week hiatus!

As I mentioned, I have hit a little bit of a road block with my writing. I have very little inspiration to write about anything these days. Even though I have ideas, I just can't seem to get them out...and that leads to lulls in posts. I promised my readers three posts per week and sometimes I can't even think of three sentences. But my promises, like the circle, will be unbroken!

Fuck You. Writer's Block can kick rocks with jellies on!

I am going to bang out three per week even if I gotta ramble about people who annoy me at work, lol. Believe me, I have enough of those stories to get me through all of 09! Stay tuned!

Friday Fuck You; Immune Difficiency

I've been sick. I had something in close proximity to the flu (though I had my flu shot) last week. Hence the late Friday post. I know, I know...you missed me.

In order to fight off the bug, I tried something a little different. Instead of taking cold medicine, I purchased vitamins that are known for boosting the immune system. I've been pumping my body full of Vitamin C, Cod Liver Oil, and Green Tea supplements. I figured rather than medicate the problem, I could just as easily strengthen the system that fights these viruses in the first place...hoping that will prevent it from happening again anytime soon. I gotta tell ya, with the supplements it's been a lot easier. It's been less than five days and most of my symptoms are gone.

I literally feel stronger; and it got me to thinking. This feeling. This strength, is what the Obama presidency has given us. Yes, I did go there!

Fuck You. I am immune to "the man"!

It is not because our president is minority that we are encouraged. It is because he is capable, because he is intelligent, because he has the potential to do great things. It was not a Affirmative Action, not a handout, not luck, not consolation that helped him win the election. It was his optimism, integrity, strength, and determination. And it didn't hurt that his immune system is strong. Stronger than many of his minority counterparts, because unlike him we have grown accustomed to standing in our own way.

There are implications that somehow the Obama win has erased racism in America. It hasn't. America is, and frankly always will be, a divided country. The new president cannot change that, just as he cannot change the damage that has already been done. What his win means is more accurately defined as is a boost in our immune system. There will continue to be prejudices, injustice, discrimination, and a host of other barriers. But we can fight that off! Because of what Barack has accomplished, we can break through those barriers, jump over those hurdles, and see past those obstacles. Yes the bar is set twice as high, but we can climb three times as far. Yes, we can.

Friday Fuck You-Denial

Yes, Denial. I am so sick and damn tired of people who refused to acknowledge defeat. I am all for resilience but sometimes you just have to claim your loses. Suck it up, move on, LET. IT. GO.

Fuck You, Denial. When it's over, it's over.

Early Tuesday morning I was watching the news as I prepared for my workday. The headlining story was about Diane Wilkerson, the State Senator for the region of Boston I grew up in. Why did she make the news this time? Sure as hell wasn't her re-election campaign! It appears she allegedly accepted eight bribes worth just over $23k in an undercover FBI operation. There are pictures plastering the television and Internet of this woman BODLY taking what appears to be cash incentives into her possession. One series in particular depicting her placing something into her bra. All photos were taken at a restaurant directly across the street from the State House (i.e. her job)

As the story unfolds, I have decided I will remain diplomatic. I am not going to make any assumptions or any conclusions. These are images I have seen via tv and Internet. I listened to her side of things on the radio this morning (or what she is allowed to say) and she confident that the truth will come to light. I was not there, I cannot account for anyone's actions but my own. I will say this though, it IS time to let go. Whether or not it is what it appears to be, one thing is clear. She has been backed into a corner, and will not accept defeat. She is trying to come back from a TKO right now.

In short, she is fighting a losing battle and denial is not going to help her win. Hold your head high, laugh it off, do what you have to to restore your pride. But please! Please let it go

Friday Fuck You; Insomnia

For years I have had problems getting a full night's sleep. On a good night I sleep four consecutive hours, wake up, and nap periodically until it is finally time to get up. Yes, a good night. Any other time I sleep three to four hours and wake up. There's no napping, just a lot of late night programming on tv. They say "the freaks come out at night" for a reason. Late night tv is CRAZY

But I digress. I hadn't realized it was unnatural until recently when oh-wise-one himself (KB, for those who have not yet caught on to the fact that my boyfriend is somehow an expert on everything) declared me as an insomniac. Either way, what is important is that I need sleep. ASAP.

To Insomnia I say; Fuck You. Nighty night, I will sleep tight!

I spent a few minutes online researching natural remedies for insomnia. I refuse to take medication for this because the horror stories are far worse than a lil lack of sleep. Because I love you guys-my poor sleepless lovies- I've listed some of those natural remedies below;

• Sleeping on your back relieves the pressure on your organs. It is easier to fall asleep and stay asleep.
• Drink Chamomile tea
• Do nothing stimulating right before bed; no listening to hardcore rap or rock. All that headbangin is not good for the weary. Also avoid foods and beverages with caffeine.
• Try being more physically active during the day
• Take a warm bath
• (and my favorite) Have sex.

Friday Fuck You; The Estranged

I gotta tell ya, I am digging the one fuck you per week. A detailed "fuck you" speaks volumes! As always you are welcome to add your own in the comments section.

By Roget's dictionary definition, to estrange means to destroy the affections of. Today, I want to address the estranged folks. Those who I am no longer in touch with because they have destroy all the affection I had for them in my heart. Be it a an ex, a former friend, colleague, or associate...the sentiment is the same;

Fuck You. I am better without you in my life. Bishop T.D. Jakes said "People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story "

With the release of the movie Secret Lives of Bees, I have a constant reminder of an estranged friend. A few years ago we read that very book together and it was an awesome story. I cannot wait to see this movie! But while I anticipate watching the vivid storyline unfold on the big screen, I am saddened by the reminder of that lost friendship.

Yes, I might be a lil nostalgic hear or there. But I honestly do not regret the demise of the friendship. I would not change a single thing about how or why it ended. I know crazy when I see it, and crazy was all up in her aura those last few months. I mean, calling me at 5:00 am on Saturday morning to ask me if I've been talking to her man on the phone. Mind you , lovies, this is a man who I have literally only said hi to the entire two years they dated. And let's not even revisit the 5:00 am Saturday morning call! Yeah, crazy.

As bittersweet as it may be, you've got to let go. And even if it means you are the only friend you have,-after they've destroyed your affections- you are the only friend you'll need. You are STILL better without them in your life.

Friday Fuck You; Outside Agitators

Again this week, I do not have a list of Fuck Yous. Instead I have one centralized topic I would like to address...a "tell 'em why you mad" moment, if you will. More and more I am being asked the question "when are you getting married?" It makes my skin crawl.

I want to qualify this by mentioning that the question comes in many forms from sincerity to vulgarity. I've heard everything from "Is he ever gonna put a ring on your finger?" to "wow DD! Three years is a long time for you. I remember when dudes didn't last three months! He must be special, whens the wedding?"

Now obviously the latter is not the problem. That's a sincere question from a friend who has been by my side through the dating blunders. This comes from the friend, cousin, brother from another mother, who could write my tell all book.

It is the first heffa, the one whose inappropriateness makes me want to tell her about herself and literally break it down brick by brick. To her I would like to say...

Fuck You. There are only two people in my relationship, myself and KB.

Wait...I want to reiterate that. I might not have been clear the first time. Eh ehem (clear my throat so I can make sure we all understand)!

FUCK YOU. There are only two people in my relationship, myself and KB.
That conversation is reserved for members only. Together we will decide when the time is right for us. We will choose a date, a time, a theme and color scheme, a menu, and a guest list (gasp) without your insight or approval.

Nothing about an engagement or wedding involves the outside agitator. There is a reason for that. The day after the wedding is what? The MARRIAGE...and guess who just promised to love honor and obey (note to self; we may have to omit that obey shit) in that marriage? You guess it, those TWO people.

Whether we marry tomorrow, Tuesday, two years from now, or never, that is a decision that will only impact us. In the event that you receive an invitation to a wedding with our gubment names at the top left...surprise! That will give you the when and the where. Until then let's adapt that military policy "Don't Ask Don't Tell".

Friday Fuck You-Healthcare

In this special edition of Friday Fuck You, I am going to focus on one issue where I'd like to proclaim my new Friday mantra.

Fuck You. I will STILL be seen at an outside health care facility.

Confused? Let me clarify. My daytime hustle is at a hospital in Boston (for obvious reasons the facility shall remain nameless). The way our health insurance works is that we pay deductibles- for day surgeries etc- if we are seen at any other facility. So when I had a cyst this past July, I was seen in house. They drained the cyst and sent me on my merry way, assuring me that I would be the picture of health in a few short days.

Now imagine my surprise this week Monday, when I started to feel a twinge of pain. Imagine the awe on Wednesday night when I couldn't sleep because the pain had become excruciating. Imagine the look of disgust on my face when I went to my pcp and was told that the cyst resurfaced and would have to be drained YET AGAIN.

Reluctantly, I took heed to her warning and saw a surgeon. The pain was so unbearable that I opted to do it at the same facility where I see my pcp. He told me without a doubt, it would continue to recur unless I have surgery to remove all the infected tissue. Essentially saying that I was lied to by the Resident at my place of employment (and something told me to write down that fool's name!) What the craze?

Can you quite grasp how insanely furious I am? All of the pain I have gone through this week could have very well been avoided if that simpleton informed me of this the first time around. I mean, I will have to be CUT OPEN A THIRD TIME IN THE SAME SPOT. Why wouldn't he have known that as a medical professional?

You feel me?

So while the recession requires me to remain employed there (yes I am that mad), I will no longer receive my health care there.

Friday Fuck You

1. Fuck You. I am not done celebrating. Yes I am still going out tonight, IN THE RAIN!
2. Fuck You. I did cut my hair. Yes, it was long/thick/pretty/whatever compliment people pay you before they politely tell you what they really think of your new do. And now it is gone. It is my head...get over it!
3. Fuck You. I am going to cut it again when I decide I am done with this hair cut!
4. Fuck You. It is true, I am NEVER satisfied. That is why I continue to strive for better. Complacence is not in me, deal with it.
5. Fuck You. It's true, "Boston girls do it better"
6. Fuck You. Tyler Perry hates black women. Yeah, I said it! Even though the majority of his fortune came from the black woman's pocket he consistently portrays us in a negative light in his plays and movies.
7. Fuck You. I am 28 and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up!

Friday Fuck You

Yes, ladies and gents...this is the second installment of the Friday Fuck You. I know you guys were a lil shy last week but I expect to see some good ones from here on out. I cannot be the only one putting my grievances out there. I feel naked, lol

1. Fuck You. I am 28 today. And since fall starts on the 21st I am technically a summer baby!

2. Fuck You. Before I officially begin my work day, I must check my email and my blog reader. Who gets right to work at 8:30?

3. Fuck You. Hip Hop is dead. "Marco Polo" are we serious? Soldja Boy is the hip hop kryptonite!
4. Fuck You. Derwin and Melanie belong together and thank God The Game returns Oct. 3rd.
5. Fuck You. I am not the only one who is terrified by the idea of President McCain and Vice President Palin.
6. Fuck You. I still read Cosmo. And sometimes I try the tricks! *wink
7. Fuck You. You can take my entrepreneurial endeavors as a joke. Just don't ask me for a free book when you see everyone reading one of my releases.

The Friday Fuck You

Thanks to Patrice over at A Day in My World, I will be starting a new tradition. Each Friday I will list 7 affirmations and rants, called The Friday Fuck You. Ideally, it is just a bit of reassurance (ex"Fuck You. I will make $70k this year."). Just a little something to keep the spirits up. Sounds a bit harsh, may even lose a few readers due to language, but I promise you guys it's all in good fun (and tasteful).

Without further ado...Here is today's Friday Fuck You

1. Fuck You. My book will be in print next year. So be ready for big thangs from Dorchester's Daughter Publishing in '09

2. Fuck You. When/If we are getting married I'll let you know....may even send you an invitation. Until then, don't ask me again.

3. Fuck You. I will take my birthday off of work even though I just got back from vacation.

4. Fuck You. There is nothing wrong with "Modern Girls", a woman can have career and family. They named the show DESPERATE Housewives for a reason.

5. Fuck You. You can have the body of a video vixen and the brain of a scholar. I am sexy AND smart.

6. Fuck You. My new mantra is Successful and Fine in '09 (shout out to MyMoneyDream!)

7. Fuck You. That felt good. All that cursing and I am still a lady!

Woosah! That felt good yall! Everyone needs to vent every once in a while so I encourage the readers to embrace the new tradition and stop in the comments section to leave your own Friday Fuck You .