Monday, March 24, 2008

To Leave or Not to Leave...

Relationships are complicated. No disagreements there right? Well sometimes I feel as though mine is more complicated than neccesary. And for that reason (without delving into the unneccesary details of it all) early Saturday morning I made the decision to break up with my boyfriend. I believed it was the right thing for both of us. Love and emotional attachment aside, I've always had an incling that we weren't PERFECT for each other. Great together but not perfect for one another.

When you are 19, 20, and 21 it's far easier to sever ties because there are no strings attached. If I liked Jay Z and he liked Nas, he had to go plain and simple. But at this point in my life it's harder to be certain what is worth fighting for. It becomes "well just don't play Nas when I'm in the car". When you've been together for several years, and have invested time, money, commitment, etc an end isn't supposed to be a rash decision. It should be in both parties' best interest and mutually agreed upon.

Very early in our bickering stage, we decided that ending our relationship is not something that should be done in anger during a disagreement. No "screw you, I'm out". And on Saturday morning, although it was amidst an argument it needed to be done. But as the day progressed I started to wonder if it was even necessary. There were no lies, no cheating, no deceptions. No gambling, drinking, or drug problems. Just a difference of opinion. Which led me to wonder what should end a relationship? I recently came across this article; After reading it, I was certain it wasn't time to move on just yet.

By Sunday afternoon, we'd talked things over and decided that it is still too soon to give up. Three years isn't enough to know whether or not a relationship can last thirty +. There are more hurdles, higher jumps, and more risks. And great together may not be perfect but nothing really is.


Yvette said...

I'm glad I decided to finish reading the whole

Ms. S said...

Yea, clearly I didn't get past the first sentence without calling, LMAO!

But... Idk... the linked article provided some great insight.

Since you are staying in the relationship, be sure it's for the right reasons and not for the wrong reasons, such as to maintain relationship longevity or because it makes rent more affordable or because the dating scene in Boston sucks.

Believe me... for the last bit, I know first hand that the dating scene in Boston sucks!