Tuesday, March 18, 2008

"YOU don't understand"

I sat on the phone and listened to a single friend rant about the antics of mutual single friend. Over the past year or so this girl's behavior has crassly contradicted her desires. "I want a husband", "I want to settle down".... cut to her bent over gyrating in front a man she has never met before and may never see again. My question was "why is she acting like this if she wants to be in a relationship?". My friend's response? "YOU don't understand, you have someone".

OK, I will admit I have been out of the game for a little while, but it hasn't been long enough for the game to change. I have been in a committed relationship for three years, three... not thirty! And before I met him I wasn't bent over in front of random men when I went to the club. That's not to say that that sort of behavior would have prevented me from finding someone special. It just isn't very likely to make a significant connection when you're modeling your stripper moves.

Shortly after my conversation with this friend, I was directed to an article from the Washington Post about single African American women; http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/10/07/AR2006100701070.html

Dating is hard, period. But when you live in a place where the social circuit is tight knit it is even harder. Boston only has a handful of lounges, clubs, and concerts for the Urban audience. If you went out every week from Thursday to Sunday, you'd pretty much get to know all the regulars. So in a place like this, it isn't effective to be known for that sort of behavior. That just isn't conducive to the "I want to be committed" wholesome image she'd like to portray, if that is indeed what she wants. Isn't the saying "a lady in the street but a freak in the sheets"?


Yvette said...

LMAO...don't you hate when people accuse you of not knowing because you're in or not in a relationship? lol

Obviously there is something to be known if what you keep doing is not working for you. haha

Ms. S said...

Nope! The game has NOT changed!

And now that I'm (surprisingly, I'll admit) the single one out of my crew of friends (wait... we are ALL single...), they have come to realize I wasn't talking out my ass about how being out of a relationship is NOT an excuse for NOT having common sense and carrying yourself in the most proper way.

I'm hoping trashy is just a trend and classy will begin to pick back up again. Sigh....