Thursday, May 8, 2008

Mother's Day

Every year I go through the same agonizing process of choosing a Mother's Day card. I am a sucker for a heart felt greeting card and I spend time trying to find there right one. I am always sure to choose a card worded so true to the nature of my relationship with that person, that I could have written them myself. I want the people I care about to KNOW how special they are on that day; birthday, anniversary, wedding, graduation, etc. The problem is I don't have those heartwarming feelings for my mom..."mom without you where would I be", "mom I can only pray that I am as good a mom to my children as you have been to me", "mom I have nothing but fond childhood memories and I owe that to you". I cannot relate.

So I always go for "mom, I am giving you the greatest give a mother can have-me as a daughter", "I wanted to send you on a vacation but with my allowance all I could afford was this card"....you know the shoebox greetings! This becomes problematic when my brother gives her these gushingly emotional cards making me look like the rebellious bad seed (and for anyone who knows us, it is clearly the opposite). My thought is;
a) he clearly isn't reading as much into the card giving process as I am
b) he definitely has very different childhood memories
OR
c) he can see past the pain and manage to give her a happy card because whether or not she is a good mom she is OUR mom.

My mother and I have always had a rocky relationship;because of some of the things I went through as a child the relationship may never heal. That does not me I do not love her; it just makes it hard for me to reach for that emotional connection. Hard for me to shop for a truly heartfelt gift. Hard for me to here a song like "A Song for Momma" this time of year without longing to feel that way.

But I digress...

In the meanwhile, I am hoping that over time I will learn to accept the things I cannot change. And prayerfully, one day, something as simple as choosing a Mother's Day card will be such a battle.

2 comments:

Older or Wiser said...

Sure enough my brother went all out, balloons, cards, and taking her out to dinner. It never fails!

MoneyTalksDebtWalks said...

Well I just kept it simple with my mother...I hoped she appreciated it. Irie does a tummy good ;)